10 Easy Valentine’s Day cards for kids

Last week I realized the Valentine’s Day party for my son’s class was NEXT Friday.  What? We just celebrated Christmas, didn’t we?  How is it time to plan for Valentine’s Day??

This year instead of making a craft that the kids will take home and throw away in a week, we are making Valentine’s Day cards and place mats for Meals on Wheels– an organization that delivers meals to people who need support to live independently– often times the elderly or people with disabilities.  

#1 Showering You With Love! Who knew you could use cupcake liners for so many crafts?  This is one I’m showing as an option for our Meals on Wheels cards.  Technically this isn’t a Valentine’s Day card, but I think it will work great!

Photo Credit: I heart crafty things!

#2 Valentine’s Day Heart Caterpillar 

How adorable is this.  Cut, glue and draw some legs!

Valentine's Day cards

Photo Credit: Sassy Dealz

#3. Love Birds 

Again, this isn’t a Valentine’s Day card, but what kind of bird lover would I be if I didn’t show you this one?  It is for sure an option for our service project!

Photo Credit: Glued to my crafts blog

#4 I am loving how cheerful these Heart Flowers are!  You wouldn’t need the sticks– just draw the stem on a card.

Photo Credit: FamilyCorner.com

#5 Heart Balloons!

Photo Credit: Jane Can…

#6 I love how this heart string card incorporates colors other than red and pink!

Photo Credit: Hello Wonderful!

#7 Nifty Mom has highlighted this super cute heart tree. She also has a PDF of the tree and the words at the top if you don’t want to make it yourself!

Photo Credit: Nifty Mom

#8 I couldn’t get to the resource for these two, but I love how simple and pretty they are!

DIY Valentine Heart Bouquet. Cute & easy for the kids to make for grandparents.:

http://handmade-website.com/stvalentines-day-crafts-photos/:

#9 I love you to pieces!

Photo Credit: Solis Plus One

#10 This adorable pop up card is a tiny bit more complicated, but I think we can handle it!

Photo Credit: Make and Takes

It will be hard to pick just a few for the kids to make for Meals on Wheels!

 

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5 FREE Ways to Beat a Winter Funk

Winter Funk

A few years ago- WAY before I ever had the thought to start this blog— I did a guest post for the blog Money Saving Mom about 5 ways to beat a winter funk.

We were experiencing one of the worst winters ever in St. Louis.  We blew through every snow day the school district had reserved and then some.  It seemed like every week my kids were home for a few days.

The result?  I was a moody, irritated mess of a caregiver who just wanted a bit of sun!

Today I will add a few more ideas for beating the winter blues:

  1. The caregiver curfew saves my sanity- no matter the weather!
  2. Having the understanding that I need to say No more often helps too.
  3. Remember, don’t should on yourself!
  4. I loved going back to this acceptance meditation– what a great reminder.
  5. Knowing why I do it is one of the biggest gifts I can give myself.

Taking my own advice

You may have noticed things have been radio silent on Bird With A List lately.  Let’s just say that my little world fell apart a few months ago.

We have 3 beautiful children and every one of them was going through something either physically or emotionally (or both) and many of those issues required me to spend hours researching and advocating for their needs.

Add to that all of the emotions of the holidays, missing my mom, dealing with Spencer’s aggression, worrying about Sammie at school to the point that every time she called I thought she was on her way to the hospital… it was a bit, well, much.

I was hanging on by a thread and didn’t even realize how small my thread was until things started calming down.   I held it together fairly well through the crisis, but almost everything extra was dropped.

So, my recent “funk” had nothing to do with the weather.  Feeling low and unmotivated and easily overwhelmed was in direct correlation to the situations I had no control over. The beauty of the 5 ways to beat a winter funk, however, is that you can apply them any time of year, under any circumstances.

If you are dealing with a low time right now and feeling a little beat up by life, remember you are not alone.  There’s at least one other caregiver out there just trying to get through the day too.

What do you do to beat that winter funk?

 

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Journal Prompt: write a letter

writing a letter

Writing Letters Journal Prompt

I have written many letters in my life.  Some were to people I could have just as easily called on the phone or emailed, but I figure everyone loves mail right?

Some of my favorite letters included those to:

  1. My future husband when I was 15 years old.  It was fun reading that to my husband on our wedding day.
  2. My child when I was pregnant.
  3. My grandchildren.  I’m not quite there yet!
  4. My mother who passed away 5 years ago about all the things she’s missed.  I usually do this one on her birthday.
  5. I have printed out emails from when my husband and I were dating.
  6. A friend in need of some encouragement.
  7. Myself in 10 years, 5 years, 1 year etc.
  8. My children.
  9. Thank you cards for small acts of kindness.
  10. A veteran who gave his or her life in service of our country.

Today, though, let’s write a letter to a friend in need.

Write a letter to a friend

Someone asked me recently to write an encouraging letter to a friend who needs help recognizing her worth.  She is feeling discouraged with life and is ready to give up on her dreams. She is beating herself up over small mistakes and not taking time to recognize how special she really is.  She is having trouble setting goals, feels hopeless, and can’t get motivated to try.

Here’s my letter:

Dear_______,

I hope you have found your courage to start something that scares you.  You have special gifts that can and will bless others if you are open to the opportunities.

Many people give up.  You don’t have to!  Mistakes happen!  You do not have to be perfect.  You just have to be you.

Setting goals can be overwhelming, but lucky for us we can set tiny goals that we can use to move small steps forward. Give yourself permission to be a beginner!

Some days will be tough, but they are supposed to be.  We are not promised to sail through life without challenges.  Be gentle with yourself.

Remember to ask yourself “Who are you fighting for?” Maybe you can take a few minutes to ponder that question when things get tough.

YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Love,

Dereth

The letter writing exercise

You can stop there and send that letter to your friend, but I was told to write my name at the top of that letter and read it when I was feeling discouraged.  We all can think of ways to cheer up a friend who is feeling low, but we don’t often do the same for ourselves.

I learned about this writing exercise and many other wonderful things at Christy Wright’s Business Boutique and I’ll be writing an honest review of her event soon for my newsletter subscribers.

For today though, write a letter to a friend and be sure to keep a copy in your journal to read when things get tough.

Do you write letters you will never send?

 

 

 

 

 

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10 DIY Advent Calendars for kids! Plus over 40 Advent filler ideas!

advent calendar

Advent calendars have come a long way since I was a kid.  I remember selling lift the flap calendars filled with generic chocolate candies for fundraisers at school.  I also remember eating more than I ever sold and having to buy most of them myself.

Ah, those were the days.

We love the tradition of the advent calendar, but have never had an actual calendar. I just wrap 24 small gifts in the same paper and with a sharpie marker write the number on the outside.  They go downstairs next to our little bitty 2nd tree. It is not worthy of any magazine that is for sure!  Funny enough though, my kids don’t seem to care how pretty it is.

advent-calendar

I’d like to make something more special this year though and I’m so inspired by the research I’ve done.  Man alive there are some talented people in the world!  (I’ll update you all with my creation after it’s done. Be prepared for a “nailed it” photo!)

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10 Journal Prompts for the Caregiver

caregiver

Bird With A List: Journal Prompts for the caregiver

Bird With A List is a blog dedicated to providing care for the caregiver and to advocating for the advocate.  Time management is so important in this task because those who are caregivers need to make time for what’s important—and that includes you!

We support you—the mom of small children, the adult child caring for her parents, the mom of a child with disability who is facing a lifetime of care giving.

These 10 journal prompts are for you—the caregiver.  Make the time for what’s important.  Try to find time for yourself as you plug along trying to get the job done.

Bird With A List

Click on the link below to print this document.

10-journal-prompts-for-the-caregiver

Love journal prompts?  Check out these other posts!

Love Lists

The AEIOU Miracle Journal Prompt

New to keeping a journal?  Try this method.

Remember, if you don’t take time to take care of yourself- who will?

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4 ways to handle the roller coaster ride of care giving

roller coaster

When people ask me “How’s Spencer doing?” my most common response is-

“Well, you know Spencer.  He’s a bit of a roller coaster ride.”

For those of you who are care givers for people with developmental disability, you get it.

Let me tell you a little bit about my little roller coaster ride.

roller coaster

  1. He is hilarious
  2. He is sweet
  3. He is kind
  4. He is compassionate
  5. He loves to laugh
  6. He loves, loves, loves preschool shows
  7. He is always on the go
  8. He thinks we should go to Target every.single.day.
  9. He loves animals and farms and specifically chasing chickens at farms
  10. He has significant developmental disability
  11. He requires a behavior plan at school to keep himself and others safe
  12. He goes through periods of time where he is aggressive toward others- staff, students, siblings, cousins, me.
  13. He has very little language- what they call functional language.
  14. He has Echolalia- he echos people, videos, books
  15. He laughs at inappropriate times
  16. He requires a lot of 1:1 help for basic needs
  17. He is adored by his family
  18. He loves to dance (if you count jumping around dancing)
  19. He loves the song “Feliz Navidad” and insists on listening to it all year long.
  20. He hurts sometimes and it makes me hurt.

If that’s not a roller coaster ride- what is?

It hurts to be a caregiver

The truth is it just plain hurts to be on the low end of the roller coaster ride.

As I write this, I’m in pain worrying about my child.  It hurts to work so hard on a solution only to have it all fall apart.  It hurts that I can’t just fix the problem.  I have to wait days or weeks to meet with a doctor or teacher or principal and then even longer to see any results of whatever plan we come up with.

What do you do when you are hurting?  How do you overcome the loneliness, the isolation, the hurt?

Today, I’ve discovered 4 simple ways to survive.  Maybe they can help you too.

roller coaster care giver

#1  Give yourself permission to hurt.  It’s OK to be disappointed.  Your plan fell apart.  He reacted badly to a new program at school or he isn’t responding to that new medication.  (or both, plus 3 other things)  It is painful to feel back at square one.  Grieve a little.  Live in the hurt for a little while- you owe it to yourself to acknowledge that it’s hard.

#2 Do something creative.  After you have lived in that hurt a bit, take some time out of it. Choose not to think about it.  Lose yourself in a writing project or take some pictures of the fall leaves or think about a new way to organize your front closet.  I don’t care what you do, but be creative.  Take a bit of a “coffee break” from thinking and obsessing about your loved one.  I promise you will come back feeling better and have more clarity about the situation.

#3 Accept.  I need to accept today that I can do nothing more than I’ve already done for my son to help him through this difficult time.  I can’t change things for him no matter how much I would love to take on the burden of his troubles.  I have spoken with those who may be able to help and I have prepared what I can prepare.  Tomorrow I will do the steps that will help tomorrow.  Friday I will attend a meeting.  Monday I will talk to a doctor who is, of course, out of the office this week.  Today the work is done.

#4 Most of all, remember that the only thing you can count on in a roller coaster ride is the ups and downs.  Every time I think “This is it! It’s working! Maybe we are over this part!” or “We will never get over this! When will it ever end?”  I have to remind myself that it will probably change.  There will be ups and downs, often extreme ups and extreme downs.  That roller coaster ride is getting ready to fly up or down and we need to hold on tight.

  • When Spencer is aggressive and we are scared to send him to school- it’s not forever- even if it feels like it is.
  • When Spencer is calm and happy for days at a time- it’s not forever- even if we hope it could be.
  • When Spencer is doing well at school and finding his independence- it’s not forever-he will probably maintain some of those skills, but he will fluctuate.
  • When Spencer is sick-it’s not forever-he will eventually get well.

We know the setbacks can and probably will happen and we know we can handle them.  We also know they won’t last forever. Tomorrow will bring with it a whole new set of ups and downs.

This is just how it is.

I know that when days like today happen, and they happen often, I need to take an inventory of how I’m doing with these 4 things.  Have I used my creative brain?  Have I cried or vented or stomped my foot a bit?  Have I remembered (and accepted) the pattern that is part of care giving?

This is the nature of Spencer’s world and as his caregiver it has become the nature of my world.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After all, I’m just along for the ride.

 

 

 

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The Balance Beam Meditation

balance beam

I have never been accused of being athletic—unless you count marching band in high school, I have never competed in a sport or been a part of an athletic team.

We have a joke in our house that mom never runs unless chased…and maybe not even then.  I would do better to stop and drop and scream in hopes of throwing my attacker off balance than try beat anyone in a foot race.

However, gymnastics has always fascinated me, especially the beam.  I could probably walk along a balance beam just fine without falling off, but to be able to do flips and tumble along it would be out of the question.

3 ways the Balance Beam meditation can change my life…if I let it

#1  Try to stay on.  Life isn’t perfect for anyone, even those remarkable athletes who spend hours a day practicing and getting stronger.  Every time I get out of bed with a positive attitude after a tough day before, I am trying to stay on the beam.

#2 Understand that I will fall off.  Falling off the beam is part of the of the sport!  As much as I try to keep it all together and never get discouraged, I will fall off.   It should not come as a surprise that I fall off, but it does.  That’s why I need to take care of myself and meditate, work hard, and get proper rest.  Knowing that I will fall off now and then and that it’s OK should help me from being too hard on myself.

#3 Don’t walk away from the beam.  Understanding that I will fall off the beam now and then does not mean that I need to walk away from it entirely.  When things start to fall apart, I need to jump off the beam for a minute on purpose.  Rest.  Breathe.  Take a break.  Just stand right beside it.  Give it a little pat.  🙂 The jump off wasn’t a fall, it was expected and necessary for continued progress.  Prepare for that moment when I must make that jump and plan for it.  Maybe even schedule it on my to-do list!

Practice doesn’t make things perfect.  It makes things possible.

Perfection has no place on a balance beam.  To make it possible to continue to walk the beam I must remember that practice makes progress possible.

Now for the important stuff: Comment below if you have ever won a competitive race… I will be thoroughly impressed.

 

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5 easy ways to love your home again

love home

Yesterday I was feeling a little bit blah.  I had been stuck at home for a few days with a sick kiddo and was probably feeling a bit of cabin fever.  Unfortunately, the blahs were taken out on my poor little house.

We are very blessed.  We have a house with the number of bedrooms we need, a separate family room for the TV (a must for me when we were house hunting with 2 toddlers 12 years ago), a great school district, it’s on a cul-de-sac,and has all of the comforts of a modern home.

It’s just a bit tiny.  The bedrooms are small, the bathrooms are original, and the kitchen has old cabinets and lacks counter space.

I generally like our little house and think it’s the perfect place to raise my little flock, but yesterday I was definitely falling out of love with our home.  It made me feel ungrateful and discontent so I knew I needed an attitude adjustment!

When in doubt, make a list.

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The Caregiver Curfew

caregiver curfew

Taking Care of the Caregiver

Bird With A List is about supporting the caregivers to take care of themselves and it’s a subject very dear to me.  I am a caregiver and love many wonderful caregivers, so I want to offer little tips that have helped me keep my sanity after a long day of being in high demand!

I still catch myself not allowing enough margin in my life.

What?  I can’t do everything?  Why is this such a shock?

I don’t always take my quiet time meditations as often as I should, but I have developed a simple way to make sure I have something left to offer my family at the end of the day.

Caregiver Curfew

Every day at 2 pm I have to be home.  Period.  When I say I’m a stay at home mom it is kind of a joke.  I am rarely home when my kids are at school.

But every single day at 2 pm I am home from running around doing what needs to be done to keep my house in order.  The first kids start trickling in at 2:30 pm so that gives me 30 minutes to change gears.  I consider it my commute!

If I don’t take this time to regroup I tend to feel behind on things the rest of the day.

5 Ideas for a Caregiver Curfew

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Small Business Spotlight: Mestebla Gifts

Right off the bat I thought I would say that I have not been paid to do this Small Business Spotlight.  I love highlighting women and caregivers who are taking care of themselves and I think Melissa does an amazing job balancing it all.

I did design Melissa’s new Etsy shop cover photo and icon, so she gave me a set of free hair clips!  Score!

Small Business Spotlight

I had the pleasure to talk with one of my favorite Etsy shop owners this week, Melissa from Mestebla Gifts, about how she got started and what she has to offer in her store.  It was quite a treat to interview such a talented artist!

Holiday shopping is just around the corner and we all know shopping online is a great way to save time and get that one of a kind gift.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford the stress of Christmas shopping last minute!

Melissa’s shop is 100% special orders so you know you are getting exactly what you want.  She can easily add a monogram or change the color of the item or add any other personal details to make your loved one’s day.

Here are just a few of the fun creations in Melissa’s shop right now:

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